i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize