i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
