she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
