Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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