Where is the hickey?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
