'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
