called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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