help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
