There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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