i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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