I bet he comes in French.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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