I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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