I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
