he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
