Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
