it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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