Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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