if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
