So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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