So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
