ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
