Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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