Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
