U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
