goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
