im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
