Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
