it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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