I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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