And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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