last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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