so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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