Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
