did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
