i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
