I just saw a hot homeless man
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
