i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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