My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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