Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
