you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
