i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
