Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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