Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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