porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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