yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
third nipple confirmed
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
