Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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