I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
