but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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