Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
