my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You need a sexual gate keeper
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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