I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize