I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
