is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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