"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
