Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
FUCK WHALES
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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