google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
