his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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