Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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