Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
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I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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