she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
