He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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