obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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