No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
