In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I AM VODKA MAN
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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