And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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