umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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