Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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